Questions of a Hurt Heart

This is just another bad day right?

I mean tomorrow or even tonight will be better?

This lonely, worthless feeling is just temporary?

But why then, does it keep coming back?

When things are busy and I can’t sit it goes away but always returns

I can’t have it; no I’m really a happy person, most of the time.

What is wrong with me then?

Is it just homesickness? Or can I not move on?

Am I scared of something?

What?

It seems like these “episodes” are becoming more frequent.

I’ve always been a happy person so what changed?

I hate feeling bad.

Of course it isn’t the worst it’s been but still

What promotes this?

I need someone to hold me but it seems like the people I have that would aren’t the right ones.

Work keeps me happy because I can’t think about myself.

Yesterday was a good day but then something changed.

Why can’t I just be happy today?

What would make me happy?

I guess what I miss is a best friend.

I haven’t found one here yet.

Should I just move home then?

But what’s there for me anymore?

No one really.

Everyone moved away and those that didn’t it doesn’t matter.

Of course there is my family and I love them but that doesn’t seem to be what’s missing.

I want to be held and told that everything will be ok.

I hate these tears rolling down my face telling me I’m losing it!

Why can’t I hold it together and just move on?!?!?

Where can I turn for peace?

I know He’s there but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s enough!

What am I doing that keeps eating at my heart?

I don’t like being by myself all the time when I’m here

I don’t need a guy to make me happy but for Heaven’s sake can’t I get a friend?

Someone who knows me better than I know myself?

Someone to make me laugh and hold my hand when I cry?

Oh well I guess you can’t have everything.

Life will go on at some point.

Let’s just hope I’m moving with it.